Adapted from Getting the Love You Want: A Guide For Couples, by Harville Hendrix
A conscious marriage is a marriage that fosters maximum psychological and spiritual growth; it’s a marriage created by becoming conscious and cooperating with the fundamental drives of the unconscious mind: to be safe, to be healed, and to be whole.
What are some of the differences when you become conscious? The following list highlights some of the essential differences in attitude and behavior:
1. You realize that your love relationship has a hidden purpose—the healing of childhood wounds.
2. You create a more accurate image of your partner.
3. You take responsibility for communicating your needs and desires to your partner.
4. You become more intentional in your interactions.
5. You learn to value your partner’s needs and wishes as highly as you value your own.
6. You embrace the dark side of your personality.
7. You learn new techniques to satisfy your basic needs and desires.
8. You search within yourself for the strengths and abilities you are lacking.
9. You become more aware of your drive to be loving and whole and united with the universe.
10. You accept the difficulty of creating a good marriage.
1 comment:
As a parent in the midst of raising 2 young children, #1 struck me. Every day I wonder how much permanent damage I am doing to our children. How much will they remember. How much will they resent me/us. How many of our traditions or fun things they will recall and implement in their marriages/family life.
But #1 tells me EVERYONE is screwed up from childhood, so today, and for the rest of the week, I'm going to give myself a free pass. It's my job to screw my kids up so they can work it out later in life. LOL!!
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