Speakerphones make me smile

The attorneys in the offices usually have their doors open, which can lend to some awfully funny eavesdropping occurrences. Not that I ever eavesdrop, but sometimes they are just so darn loud it's tough to tune them out.

Here is a snippet of a voicemail that my boss, we'll call him Jim Jones, left for his wife, Jen.

VM: Hello, you've reached the office of Jen Jones. Please leave a message.

Jim: Jen, hi, it's Jim... Jones. (chuckle) Uh, guess you knew that. (chuckle) Anyway...

Now THAT cracked me up! I thought about it the rest of the day and giggled. It probably took place two years ago and it still cracks me up!

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Bashing my head makes me smile

Dr. Cameron: Men should grow up.

Dr. Gregory House: Yeah. And dogs should stop licking themselves. It’s not gonna happen. (from House)

I have three bosses at the office. One of my bosses continually asks me to do ridiculous things of a more personal nature. Nothing harassing but still completely inappropriate nonetheless.

Once I was asked to please research various cruise lines around the country, where they traveled and their cost because his family wanted to take a cruise vacation in late May, early June. I picked my jaw up off the floor and proceeded to forward the email to several of my secretarial friends and asked them to weigh in. Is this normal? Do your attorneys ask you to do things like this? I was surprised when I received a very mixed bag of responses. Several of my co-workers do things very similar to what my boss was requesting of me. This seemed like an enormous undertaking, can you imagine? I thought of all the headache I would endure while talking to a travel agent, talking to the boss, talking to his wife... Wait a minute? Why didn't he ask his wife to plan their family vacation? She is a SAHM and would know their family's preferences much better than I. In the end, I was very diplomatic about my response, where I replied to his email and attached the business card of our firm travel agent, saying she knew much more about cruising than I ever would (as it is her job). Then I just shook my head.

Another time I received a request from same boss to please call several windshield repair places because he has two vehicles who need windshield replacements. He would leave one vehicle at the Park & Ride and the replacements would have to be on two different days (as he could only drive one vehicle at a time, see?) and blah blah blah. My eyes crossed halfway through the email. I looked up four or five windshield replacement places and replied to his email with their names and phone numbers. Again, it would've been more of a headache than I was willing to endure.

I get asked to research camping spots for his family, hunting areas (including full terrain and topography reports), scoutmaster training opportunities, and the like. Bizarre, no?

Then, this past week, I received another head-shaking opportunity. Mother's Day was a busy one for their family and the boss overbooked his schedule. He blew it, basically, and he knew it. So who does he ask to save his sorry self? That's right! He asked me to please look into various Mother's Day poems or quotes that he could use to try and express his devotion and love for his wife on Mother's Day. Now, the do-gooder in me did what I was told, but the sarcastic little brat in me is DYING to nose my way around and have the wife find out that not only is any poem she received lifted straight off the internet, but that her husband didn't even do the lifting!

I'm bad. I know. But seriously, this man should grow up!

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