On being human

Sometimes I have this inner war happening between my earlobes. I think that in order to be a good, pious and faithful person, I have to know bunches of bible verses by heart, volunteer for every volunteer opportunity presented, give lots of money in the collection plate, not ever argue with my husband, never cuss, et cetera ad naseum (insert other Latin verbiage here)

I wonder what makes us human, though, if we're all striving to be like God?

Some of us have tattoos. Some smoke cigarettes. Some women (I've heard) even have wine at their kids' play dates!

In response to some of her readers' questions, OMSH says it best:

Christians have “lives” too. We like good times, good movies, good food, and some of us even like a good margarita.

Amen, sister.

Happy Anniversary!

Handsome and I celebrated two years today. We booked a trip to nearby Indian Springs hot springs in Idaho Springs, CO. It was a wonderful anniversary.

We drove the scenic route to get to the hot springs which took us by way of Echo Lake and Mt. Evans. We picnicked at Echo lake and made friends with some birds and a duck who were very interested in our tortilla chips.

A short while later we pulled into Idaho Springs which is a lovely quaint town just a half hour outside of Denver. The Indian Springs resort is on the east end of town and it's quiet and peaceful there.

There is a covered giant pool fed by underground hot springs so the water was a wonderful 97 degrees. The area around the pool is surrounded by all sorts of tropical plants. It was truly like being in paradise for a couple days.

We participated in a mud bath, too. A 10 foot by 10 foot area was filled with two inches of cold clay mud, which we applied to all exposed skin. (Bathing suits required!) Then, we lay on the beach chairs to dry the mud and pull any toxins out of our bodies. Off to the shower afterward to get all the mud off. Man, does that mud like to hang around! Then, back in the pool. Ahhhh.

We dined at a great little Italian restaurant, Mangia, and sat outside on their back patio. We had excellent dinners (stuffed shells for me and tortelloni for Handsome) and then lounged by the fire pit with an italian soda and tiramisu. I'm glad the restaurant was in walking distance to the hotel so we could walk off some of the calories.

Handsome and I played Scrabble in the room while a light rain fell outside. I whooped him two games to none.

It was a great relaxing anniversary.

Love & Marriage

When two people are under the influence of the most violent, most insane, most delusive, and most transient of passions, they are required to swear that they will remain in that excited, abnormal, and exhausting condition until death do them part. ~ G.B. Shaw

California became the second state to perform and recognize same-sex marriage recently.

This had me thinking. If Handsome and I got married in Colorado, and then we decided to move to North Carolina, how surprised would we be if all of a sudden, the North Carolina government did not recognize the fact that we were married?

Ridiculous, no?

I believe that it is fear that motivates state governments to introduce statutes and constitutional bans on same-sex marriage.

In most cases, marriage between two people, regardless of gender, is an expression of love and commitment. It is a sacrament in the church. "Marriage should be honored by all" (Heb. 13:4).

There are plenty of people who are of opposite gender who marry each other for reasons much less noble than love and commitment. Can you say green card?

In a time when nothing is more certain than change, the commitment of two people to one another has become difficult and rare. Yet, by its scarcity, the beauty and value of this exchange have only been enhanced. ~ Robert Sexton

Perhaps I'm one of those people who choose the "carte-blanche" way of my faith. I believe that two people who love each other should not be judged because they may be of the same sex. In fact, I believe I'll let God do the judging for me. People do entirely too much judging of other people, in my opinion.

He knows that if I love someone, that person has affected ME in a positive way. We are all human here. I would rather see my two male friends have the same opportunity to care for each other in all the legal sense of the words, without having to jump through any additional hoops that Handsome and I did not have to, than to see them purposely single, and miserable.

Where is the glory to God in that?

Character counts

Character is like a tree and reputation like its shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing. ~ Abraham Lincoln

Remember junior high school? Gossiping girls, immature boys, rumors flying, surging hormones, irritated complexions, insecurity everywhere... How could any of us come out of that unscathed?

I'd like to speak to the girl I was back then.

Just because you weren't born in the same town you live in now doesn't mean that you are less than the people who have grown up here all their lives. You have experienced more of the country and met more diverse and interesting people than any of the kids in your class. This kind of experience cannot be bought, so don't be ashamed you do not have the same kind of money your friends have.

Live each day as though it matters. What you do matters. Who you are matters. There are so many opportunities for you to make a difference in other people's lives. You have no idea who you touch, just by being you.

Be the best you that you can be. Don't start smoking just because your friends do. They aren't willing to sacrifice their lungs for you so why should you sacrifice yours for them? The same goes for drinking at much too young an age. It's not worth the price that your pride and reputation will have to pay.

You know you are a better person that who you show the world. Why are you afraid to achieve all that you know you can? Go ahead, take notes in class. Then read them after school.

Practice your instrument. The first chair soloist wasn't just born with her talent, she worked hard every day to get better. She's better than you because she practices. You may never match her but at least you can say you tried.

Do right by your folks. They may not be as cool as your friends but they sure do love you. They want you to live the life they never did. Do better than that. Be their friend but also let them be the parents. That's their job. Don't get angry when they do it.

Make the choices so that nobody can talk about you behind your back where you would be ashamed to overhear them. That's character.

If people make up misleading rumors about you, be confident in the fact they are untrue. The truth will set you free. The people who remain your friends throughout the mudslinging are the ones you will remember. Everyone else will fade.

Be the kind of friend that you would want for yourself. If you wish someone would listen to you, become a better listener.

Enjoy the journey of your education. You will never learn more all at once as you are in school. It's okay to be smarter than some other people you know. It may get you a cool tutoring gig with a football player one day.

Today won't last forever. That's a good thing. The bad times will slowly be forgotten, but so will the good. Keep a journal. It will make for a good read when you're older. You'll realize you really don't hate your mom, or your dad, and that the boys in life aren't as important as you may have thought.

Thank your teachers. Be nice to them by paying attention in class. They are doing a lot for you, and a lot of other kids, and they don't get paid nearly what they deserve.

One more thing. Don't get that tattoo. You'll want to wear sleeveless shirts at work someday.

Twelve words which changed my life

Human thoughts have a tendency to transform themselves into their physical equivalent.

Twelve words. That's all.

Let's see, there are the days when I'm miserable and the whole world looks dark. If I consciously change my thought pattern, the world brightens up immediately.

Even if it's gloomy outside, I can rejoice in that, knowing that God is building the clouds to deliver much needed rain to my plants.

It is the situations which lead me to want to argue with myself, berate myself, get angry with my husband, be a slacker at work... Those are when I need to realize that I can change it all.

I will never be perfect. Although I try to attain perfection all. the. time. And I want the same for my husband. And he won't ever be perfect, either! So I need to realize that there is no such thing as human perfection. All we can do is our best.

When we put our best self forward, the rest doesn't really matter. If our best isn't good enough for some people, then they are asking too much. I like high expectations. I like challenges. I can learn to have high expectations of myself and my family without making them unattainable.

Handsome's dad is an example of how his mentality has changed his physicality. From the time of his young adulthood, he has had a "chip on his shoulder", for lack of a better term. He has believed that the universe owed him something. (I believe the universe owes us all something, it's just up to us to go out and get it.) He never did anything about it except complain. And drink.

There was a time in his life when he was very creative, making by hand these exquisite pieces of furniture. Several pieces now adorn our own home. Although I did not know the man during that period of his life, I'm willing to wager that he was a happy being when he was creating that furniture. His creativity flowed, he saw results in these awesome dressers and nightstands and headboards.

Until he stopped. Then life turned its back on him. Or rather, he turned his back on life. And settled down with a six 30 pack.

His body has adjusted to the toxin of alcohol ever since. It has manifested in gout and arthritis and the limited usage of his hands and constant pain in all his joints.

He laments the fact that he no longer has the workshop where he can create.

Truthfully, he no longer has the desire or the ability, but he doesn't realize that it is all tied up together.

Step one does not have to be to stop drinking in order to feel better about himself so that he may regain his creativity and spark.

Step one can be to feel better about himself! Then he could stop drinking and heal his body, so that it would not be the betrayer he feels it is.

Human thoughts have a tendency to transform themselves into their physical equivalent.

Change the thought, the body will follow.

Baseball for a cause

This past weekend was another busy one. We attended a wedding on Saturday night. It was beautiful! The bride has family living in the mountain forest in Colorado and the wedding ceremony and reception was held onsite. It was dubbed a "mountain luau" complete with the groom and best man in hawaiian shirts and flip flops. Very cool.

The following day we went to a baseball event sponsored by the adoption agency through which I placed my son. It was so cool seeing all these families together, all of whom were built by adoption. Lots of little ones, toddlers, a couple kids who were older. Not many birthmoms present, though.

I haven't been in touch with many of the people at the agency since the Boy was born over nine years ago. I reunited with another birthmom at the pre-game picnic and we caught up on each others' lives.

But the best part was seeing my counselor, G, again. G hasn't changed one iota since my days of being a pregnant birthmom. It was amazing. And we talked to each other like nine years had not elapsed between our visits. G, you're like a balm to my soul.

Life has gone by with all the birthdays and anniversaries, the weddings and new homes, the recitals and fairs. In one instant, I was reminded of who I was before my life changed so dramatically the day I saw the plus sign on that pregnancy test.

I wouldn't change any of it, of course. But it sure was nice to see her, and a little piece of the me I used to be.

Sideshow review

Handsome and I went out on a date night last night. We had a gift card to a semi-fancy Italian restaurant which serves meals family style. Fixed price + gift card = dinner for 2 for $10!

After dinner, we enjoyed an evening of live theater. I mentioned that I know someone who's practically famous. PHAMALY's production of Sideshow was just awesome.

The plot is based on the true story of conjoined twins in the early 1920s who wound up first in the circus circuit (hence, the name of the production) before moving up to Vaudeville.

The two actresses who played the twins were amazing. They have the most beautiful voices and sang perfectly. They shared this gigantic wheelchair throughout the play, save for a dream sequence when one twin gets up and walks toward the man she loves.

Now, some plays are just really great and they give you a good feeling for plunking down the money to see them. Add to that the fact that these actors are blind, or wheelchair bound, or deaf, or have failing kidneys or rheumatoid arthritis, and, well, it just humbles a person.

Especially me, because I've been moaning and beating myself up lately over stupid stuff. I think I needed a reality dose of "You want to see hard? These people cannot do every single thing you can do every single day. Get over yourself."

I thoroughly enjoyed the show, folks. Can't wait to catch the next production!