Thankful for my good health

Even though I'm not to the point where I crave and love and am blissfully happy when I exercise, I am VERY thankful that I have the ability to get up and move around at my will and leisure.

I have been working out with regularity since January, 2010, and believe that it does wonders for both body and soul. I challenge myself with new classes and test out different machines to see just what my body is capable of.

Generally speaking, I am a very healthy person. My "temple" still has quite a few miles left in it and I'm thankful that I can utilize this body without pain on a regular basis.

Thanks to Mom

Today I am thankful that I have a pretty great relationship with my mom. She was a single mom for most of my life and had to make a lot of sacrifices for me. We struggled, as so many other families do, during my adolescence, but I think she's forgiven me for pushing and stretching and testing all the boundaries.

We always came as a package deal, and it wasn't until the end of my college career and shortly thereafter that I was really able to stand on my own. My mom always has an ear for listening to me and is usually willing to head out for the next small adventure if I call and ask.

She has taught me more about unconditional love than any other human I know, because boy have I given her opportunities to rethink her stance! To this day, I know that I make her proud, and that I have a champion in my corner whenever I need her.

Love you mom!

Thanks to my husband

It's amazing when you realize that someone loves you so much, not because, like your "family" they are expected to, but because they choose to give you that love. Because they think you deserve it!

My husband is such a generous man, and he really adores me. I am thankful that he has such room in his heart for me and all my wacky ways, for our kitties who test his limits multiple times a day, for his family (who are much like the kitties in their testing of his limits), and that he selflessly gives of himself to just about everyone he knows.

I am thankful that he has such humor in his being and he sings to me, to the kitties, to his friends, just because it makes him feel good.

I am thankful that he is so handy and can fix anything, and he has the wherewithall to know what needs fixing!

Finally, I'm thankful that he chose me and this life we lead, and I look forward to all of our tomorrows.

Love you honey!

Ooof, exercise log

I have been battling tendonitis in my achilles. It sucks. What happened was I had been doing my regular workout routines (one day running on the treadmill, another day riding the bike, another day on the elliptical) and I read an article in a magazine which told me specifically how to do a treadmill routine so I could get the maximum benefit in the minimum amount of time.

I had been running at a clip of between 4.5-5.0 mph. I had been using an incline of between 0 - 6.0. This article suggested that I go slower and vary my incline more. It suggested that I do 5 minutes at a warmup of 0 incline and 3.0 mph, then adjust to 5 incline at the same speed for another 5 minutes.

Then 5 minutes at a 10 incline at 3.1 speed, then 5 minutes at a 15 incline at 3.1 mph.
Then 5 minutes at a 10 incline at 3.2 mph, then 5 minutes at 15 incline at 3.2 mph.
Then 5 minutes at a 10 incline at 3.3 mph, then 5 minutes at 15 incline at 3.3 mph.
Then 5 minutes at a 10 incline at 3.4 mph, then 5 minutes at 15 incline at 3.4 mph.
Then 5 minutes at a 10 incline at 3.5 mph, then 5 minutes at 15 incline at 3.5 mph.

Then you cool down and you're done with your workout in 40 minutes (obviously I got something wrong up there because it's not an hour long workout).

Anyhoo... Since I was used to very little incline, bumping it up so much so fast must've bugged my achilles tendon and it began to hurt.

Like when I did downward dog in yoga, I thought I was going to fall over because my achilles/heel screamed at me.

So, I have been trying to take the doctor's orders and take it easy. Ice. Naproxen. Bummer.

Of course, I had just signed up to take a Zumba class at the Rec Center and it's very difficult to stay off your feet, and rest, and ice, when you're dancing like the latin dance star you know you are.

Today, I got to the gym and rode the bike. I got about 6.5 miles in half an hour. No pain in the achilles during or after the workout. Tomorrow is yoga. Modified of course.

I'm searching for a cold laser/low level laser therapist who can help with this achilles thing. I do not do well with an order to "rest". I am not a good patient.

Exercise log

Worked out at lunch today. So much busier at lunch than at 7:00 am! The trainer at the gym gives me a hard time when I work out at lunch, because she never sees me. Obviously, she's not there at 7:00 am!

7.30 miles, 203 calories, 35 minutes on the stationary bike.

Exercise log

Back on the treadmill this morning.

2.39 miles, 238 calories, 35 minutes.

I took it slow so I wouldn't kill myself. I also realized I can't read a magazine while I'm running.

Good to know.

Exercise

Hard to motivate but I feel better. Definitely down some pounds and that feels good. Fitting into my clothes and that feels great! I even got a compliment from some ladies I work with saying I looked like I was wearing my older sister's clothes, they were hanging on me. =)

171 calories, 1.60 miles, 22:17 minutes on the treadmill.

Easing back into a routine. On a Friday (hee hee).

Exercise log

Today I realized I must've forgotten my ipod at home. Since I'm reading a fairly interesting book called "Changes in Altitude" by Anita Shreve (who I've never heard of but has written a whole slew of books and I'll probably add her to my reading rotation), I decided to ride the stationary bike instead of running on the treadmill or using the elliptical.

My butt still hurts from rafting so the bike wasn't my favorite machine today. However, I was able to go farther riding than I ever could have running (or elliptical-ing?)

7.02 miles, 178 calories in 35 minutes

12 miles an hour never felt so good!

Exercise log

Did yoga today. Great time.

Nearly fell asleep in Savasana.

Exercise log

3.16 miles, 281 calories and 37 minutes on the treadmill.

Back to reality!

Exercise log

In Keystone, on vacation:

30 minutes on elliptical. With a slight hangover and total dehydration.

Dumb. Should've drank some water and gone swimming instead.

Exercise log

2.69 miles, 262 calories, 30 minutes on the elliptical.

Been a while since I did the elliptical it seems.

Exercise log

Did yoga today at lunch.

Exercise log

1.54 miles, 308 calories, 35 minutes and 2311 feet climbed on the stair machine.

Heck Yeah!

Exercise log

Walked and ran outside for the first time.

It sucked, actually. I can't tell how fast I'm going, there is no water bottle holder and nobody to hand me a towel because I'm drenched.

And it was HOT. Sheesh. I'm spoiled!

I did find a cool new route to the neighborhood pool though!

Exercise log

339 calories, 2.81 miles and 37 minutes on the treadmill.

Haven't felt like exercising at all since David's passing.

Haven't felt much like eating, either, so at least that's good.

Exercise log

349 calories, 3.06 miles and 37 minutes on the treadmill

Exercise log

Did yoga today instead of a gym workout.

Our work offers free yoga during the lunch hour twice weekly and it is fantastic. I try to go twice a week because it really helps the sanity level!

Works all the major muscle groups, too.

Exercise log

Uh oh, missed yesterday.

3.07 miles, 35 minutes, 294 calories on the elliptical.

Exercise log

1.35 miles, 217 calories, 25 minutes and 1876 feet climbed on the stair machine.

God Bless America!

Ode to Flag Day

A flag is just a piece of cloth
Vulnerable to fire or to moth

You can hoist it way up high
And watch it flap against the sky

You can make it orange or green
Or any color in between

With shapes like hexagons or squares
And sometimes lions or even bears

Stars and stripes get used a lot
But seldom ever polka dots

The colors I am partial to
Seem to be red white and blue

The white for right, the blue for true
The red: blood shed, for me and you

(Ol' Betsy Ross, she musta knew)

Written by Johnny Hart - creator of B.C. comics

Exercise log

Stepping up my game here - working out at the Rec Center gym by my house.

3.03 miles, 37 minutes and 341 calories on the treadmill.

Exercise log

Friday! Finally!

295 calories, 2.56 miles and 32 minutes on the treadmill.

So this week's total is 12.49 miles and almost 3 hours of cardio.

YAY!

Exercise log

Whew!

3.34 miles, 306 calories and 38:40 minutes on the elliptical.

Exercise log

This week kicks ass!

1.3 miles, 262 calories, 30 minutes and 1985 feet climbed on the stair machine.

(That would be MY ass this week is kicking!)

Exercise log

Keeping at it!

347 calories, 2.99 miles and 38 minutes on the treadmill.

Exercise log

Started going to the gym in the morning. Whew! What a way to wake up!

I have to get out of bed at 5:30 a.m. I realize that this is not that early but when you're used to 6:00 a.m. and nothing between the bed and the shower, getting dressed and out to the bus so early can be challenging! The bus comes around 6:25 a.m. and I get downtown to the gym (right next to my office) at 7:05. Work out for an hour, shower and clocked in by 8:30. Pretty sweet.

So, my first day - 2.27 miles, 32 minutes and 268 calories on the Elliptical.

Yay me!

Easter poem

What is this day all about?
Hiding eggs for kids to rout?

Cakes and cookies shaped like lambs?
Pink chapeaus on pink madams?

That's not what it is all about!
Who got buried? Then got out?

Leaving no one any doubt,
"He is Risen!" hear them shout!

THAT is what this day is all about!

(written by Johnny Hart, creator of B.C. comics)

Easter time

A calendar is filled with days to which we must adhere
No matter how you use them, they still add up to a year

Each month we celebrate with love some very special day
There's Christmas in December and Mother's Day in May

Tho, Father's Day comes round in June, He labors in September
And April has a special date that all fools will remember

With each July the rockets fly in tearful, proud recall
Then August, so grandiose in name, has no good days at all!

November doth remember every veteran with Thanksgiving,
But blessed of all is Eastertime, which gives the gift of living!

(written by Johnny Hart, creator of B.C. comics)

Crazy dreams lately!

Last night I had a dream about a boy I went to middle and high school with. We weren't super close, but we were nice to each other. His name is Dana.

Dana and I were in a giant farmer's market. The plan was he was going to cook me dinner. I remember seeing giant displays of asparagus (both green and white) and potatoes. I had to go visit the restroom and Dana said he'd be waiting right there. For some reason, I left the restroom from a different door I entered, and through that door, my mom and her sister and my grandma were waiting for me. I was excited to see them (I don't see my grandma or aunt very often) and before I knew it, we had piled in the car to go away.

Suddenly, I was completely distraught. I had left Dana at the farmer's market. I pleaded with my mom to take me back and we turned around. The sky had become gray and the wind had picked up.

I searched for Dana frantically, finding him poking around some vegetables, looking totally crestfallen and rejected. I couldn't have been more sorry, and I apologized for leaving him there.

He broke my heart with how sad he was. I told him how awful I felt, and he said it's okay, and asked if we could go and cook dinner now. Then I woke up.

I am disturbed. And I have no idea what Dana represents to me, so I can't really figure this out.

To Be or Else...

Often times I wonder what this world is all about
It can't be just a place for coming in and going out

It surely can't be just a place for terrorists and crooks
And dirty, rotten scoundrels that sell pornographic books

It wasn't made for wallowing in sickness, death and sin
or people who give drugs to kids, or beat up on their kin

Our world was once a perfect place, a gift of love, not war
And we still have the power, through grace, to make it like before!

(written by Johnny Hart, creator of B.C. comics)

The Rubber Band Effect

It's funny, isn't it, how you tend to not see someone for a while and then you run into them and spend lots of time together, then you become distant and unresponsive again?

That's how it is with my blog. Sorry blog. I really do love you. I just think you deserve more creativity than I can give most days.

And instead of giving you half-assed posts, I withdraw completely and you must think I've abandoned you.

On the contrary. I adore you and if the mundane is better than nothing, well, then here I am.

So, Handsome and I had a wonderful four day trip to NoCal to visit Cousins W and T and their spouses and kids. This family I adore so much. They are close in age and wry in spirit. They also make Handsome nervous or uncomfortable. I think because the two cousins are brothers to each other, there is an impenetrable field around them that Handsome has never felt nor been able to breach.

First we flew into Sacto and hopped in our rental Ford Focus (which was both quite adorable and very fuel efficient. Handsome loved it because "it's American, dammit!") We drove to San Francisco to meet a girlfriend who I went to kindergarten with and haven't seen or spoken to in, oh, about 25 years. She looked me up on Facebook a couple months ago and I thought a quarter century just too long to go between visits.

We met Francis in the City and walked to the Ferry Building which is like an enclosed open air market, full of shops carrying fresh cheese and fresh bread and fresh smoked meats and fresh organic vegetables. I was in heaven. Had I $500 and 3 hours and no restrictions on my flight back, we would be eating like royalty right now.

We settled on a seafood place and got a 1/2 bottle of wine and sat out by the San Francisco Bay to eat and drink and catch up over the last few decades. It was beautiful. There are some people that you can connect with again after forever has passed and you just feel comfortable with them. Francis is like that. I found and showed her some pictures of us when we were three or four and she laughed, just like I had when I saw them.

It was easy to be with her. I think we all need more people like that in our lives. Francis and her husband actually met in college in Colorado, about half an hour from where Handsome and I live now. We were 30 miles away from each other for several years, and had no clue. Strange, isn't it, how the universe plays these little jokes on us?

We should've gotten bread while we were in SF. We didn't, forgot, were in a hurry to get to Sacto for the surprise birthday celebration for Cousin T, who was driving with his wife and kids from Los Angeles. Apparently we missed rush hour (Hallelujah!) but beat the LA cousins by about 5 hours. D'oh.

Cousin W and his wife are renting a house that has a squat little orange tree and a tall grapefruit tree in their backyard. The oranges were as big as grapefruits (and so were the grapefruits!) and we had fresh juice every day we were there. Of course, I mixed mine with champagne and called it the thickest mimosa ever made. Surprisingly, it was the first time they had made juice from their fruit. They would buy a box of California clementine Cuties for $10 (!!) but hadn't ever eaten the fruit growing in their own backyard.

The surprise was pulled off without a hitch. Cousin T was excited that we had made the journey to come celebrate his birthday with him. The impetus for us was that Cousin T and his wife and kids are preparing to move to Australia. I figured the plane trip to California would cost far less than a trip to Australia, and we can afford it right now, so we'll be saving up some money before we can spring for the Australia trip. However, how freaking cool will that be? Flying out there will be our only expense - we will stay and eat with them while we are there.

The weather was great, kind of cool but not frigid like Colorado. And everything was so GREEN, it was such a fresh scene. The kids were fun, they tend to socialize with each other more than with anyone else. We went bowling, I bowled a 115 my second game (woo hoo!) and that was fun.

Ate, drank lots of wine, enjoyed some other recreational activities and really fell in love with California again.

20 Tips on Marriage

1. Remember what you like about the other person. Keep it in the back of your mind for those moments when youre angry.

2. Think not just about what the other person can do to make things better, but what you can do to make things better.

3. Couples are too busy these days. You've got to make protected time for each other, time just for the two of you, and you need to do this at least a half hour a week, preferably more. Many couples spend more time exercising than being with each other. One way around that is to exercise together!

4. Respect. Respect. Respect. Try always to treat your partner with respect. Repeated put-downs can become a habit and mark the beginning of the end of a relationship.

5. Play. Let yourselves set aside your inhibitions and be silly. Do foolish things together. Have a pillow fight. Play tag. Tickle each other. Tell jokes. Play pranks on each other. Never take yourselves too seriously. As long as you can laugh, you'll be ok.

6. Celebrate. Studies show that it is more important to be there for your spouse to celebrate good times than it is to be supportive in bad times. Of course, support in bad times matter, but it is even more predictive of success in a relationship if you can celebrate good times together.

7. Present a united front to your kids. Otherwise you will undermine each other. This is not good for you and it is not good for the kids.

8. Say something nice, something you like about your spouse at least once a day.

9. Feel free to make fun of tips on marriage like these but dont make fun of taking seriously the idea of each day doing what you can to make your relationship better.

10. Give your spouse permission to have a life of his or her own outside the marriage, be it friends, groups, career, hobbies, or other activities.

11. When you see an argument or fight getting started, try to catch yourself and say to yourself, "Let me try to do this a little differently this time." If you usually yell, fall silent. If you usually get quiet, speak up. If you usually cry, dont. If you usually rage, try negotiating or listening instead. Just try to vary your usual way of responding.

12. Pay compliments. You can never pay too many compliments. Even if they are mocked or rebuffed, they will be appreciated.

13. Pay attention to the family of origin of your spouse. When you get married, you not only marry your spouse, you marry your spouses family. The old cliché of the terrible in-laws is a destructive one. Make friends with your in-laws and try to have fun with them. Remember, also, they are your childrens grandparents.

14. Try never to use money as a tool of power. This builds huge resentments over time.

15. Try to keep up an active sex life. If sex tails off, this may indicate conflict. Try to get at the heart of the conflict. Usually, sexual activity will pick back up.

16. Avoid the pattern of The Big Struggle. Attack and defend, defend and attack. This can become a habit, a very demoralizing and destructive one.

17. Get to know about your spouses childhood enough that you can understand current patterns in terms of what happened growing up. No one hit adulthood without having had a childhood first. And the child is the father or mother of the man or woman.

18. Have fun together. Do it however you want to do it, but make time to have fun. Sounds obvious, but many couples don't do this.

19. T.I.O. Turn It Off. When you are together, turn off your electronic devices, at least for some of the time.

20. Remember, no marriage is constantly happy, perfect, and blissful. When times are tough, hang in there with each other. Get some alone time, but dont go into hiding. You need each other. It is easy to be there for each other in good times, but in hard times, this is when you really need one another. This is when you just plain do it, whatever it is, for the sake of the person you married and for your own sake as well. Please don't give up. There is always hope.

by Edward M. Hallowell, M.D. and Sue George Hallowell, LICSW

Exercise update

We had dentist appointments this morning so Handsome had to trade shifts with someone and he closed. Which means that I got to work late, and worked through lunch, but I didn't have to take the normal bus home. So, I went to the gym after work. My ipod was dead so I plugged in to the treadmill which has the TV on it.

About 15 minutes into My Name is Earl, I remembered that I had given up TV for Lent.

Whoops.

30 minutes on the treadmill. Scale read 145.8.

Maybe I shouldn't take the weekend off after all. Today for lunch: salad with a scoop of tuna and an apple.

Exercise journal

Feb. 23 did a yoga class that my work offers. I haven't been to it in a while because since I joined the gym, I feel like that's where I get the most bang for my buck. (Well, if the yoga is free, there is no buck, but you get what I mean?)

Interestingly, I read in the Eat Right/Cook Right/Live Right 4 Your Type books that Type As tend to get the most benefit from exercises like yoga, tai chi, etc. as opposed to sweating it out on the treadmill at the gym.

I am still going to mix it up, alternating yoga with cardio and weights when I can.

Feb. 24 I did 30 mins on the elliptical. Scale said 145.0. Moving in the right direction.

Feb. 25 ate breakfast for lunch with a friend. So good, bacon, eggs and pancakes. Man, my belly hurt the rest of the day.

Feb. 26 had a meeting during lunch. Had a turkey club sandwich which was yummy. That night we went to dinner with some friends for Denver's Restaurant Week. This is a great deal where you can have a multi-course dinner for two for $52.80. We went to Rodizio's which is a Brazilian steakhouse and the waiters come to your table with swords skewering cuts of meat. It is all you can eat. And boy, did we eat. And eat. And eat some more.

That night, Handsome and I lay in bed just moaning (and not in a good way). It was punishment for all that good food. The weekend brought no good exercise to speak of. Maybe I needed a weekend off?

Dreaming

Had this crazy dream last night where I was hanging out with my high school girlfriend E. and some of E's friends but her friends were freaking me out. I think my high school boyfriend L. was there or I was talking to him on the phone and he was going to come hang out with me. I left E. and her weird friends and drove to my college girlfriend H's house, which I was house-sitting. (it totally wasn't H's real house, but it was seriously an awesome house!) There was a group of bikers (like bicyclists, not motorcycles) who had stopped at the house to grab a bite to eat before setting off on a big ride. I got a text message from E. which said "I expected Reece to leave but didn't think YOU would." Obviously, E. was pissed that I had left. Then my best friend J. showed up at the house and he and I were hanging out, eating grub (salad) with the bicyclists in the kitchen. Then I woke up.

I told my girlfriend E. about this dream and she said that what struck her was that it was so busy! She asked me if I have been under stress lately?

Hmmmm..... Nothing I can't suppress in a conscious state! Obviously my sub/unconscious has some stuff to work through. E. and J. both are very good friends. I can totally be myself with them. H. is someone who I have been friends with but we aren't really close. I feel like a doofus sometimes when I am around her. And L.? Well, we dated for a year in high school, and he was a great boyfriend when he wasn't freaked out about everything. On some level, evidently, I see him as someone who could take care of me. That's comforting.

What's interesting to me, and this has been true for as long as I've known him, is that Handsome rarely makes an appearance in my dreams. I wonder what that means?

We didn't start the fire

It was always burnin' since the world's been turnin'

What a great show. OK, we got to the Pepsi Center and saw the stage. There were no instruments on it. I poked Handsome in the ribs and said "Do you see the pianos?" He said no. I thought, where are they? Where is the drumset? I don't get it...

Then, as the show began, the stage top moved aside and TWO pianos came up from underneath with these hydraulic lifts. TWO drumsets came up and keyboards and guitarists all rose up from underneath the stage. It was really cool.

Elton John and Billy Joel have been playing the music scene for some 40 years. They could do this show in their sleep. The amazing thing is that they have the stamina and endurance to completely rock out for 3 and a half hours.

They started out playing together, but each would sing the other's songs. Then Billy Joel's piano and his band dropped down under the stage and Elton's band stayed up. He sang all his classics and some I'd never heard before while the giant screen behind him showed cool graphics and some of his old album cartoon covers. It was neat.

Then Elton's piano and his band were lowered and Billy Joel's piano and band rose up and he played a bunch of his classics. I felt like Billy Joel was more personable and he came off as someone who you'd enjoy having a beer with, given the chance. His piano rotated 180 degrees every so often, so you weren't getting the head view the whole time. He joked that he wasn't really Billy Joel, he was Billy Joel's father, poking fun at his balding head and grey facial hair.

Finally Elton and band rejoined the stage and the two icons rocked out for another 4 or 5 songs. I was so impressed. Good music really lasts through time and these legends know how to put on a show!

Weekend update

Colin Quinn was my favorite Weekend Update host on SNL. I was awfully young but I thought he was totally yum.

Saturday I got my eyes examined and found out that I am seeing BETTER in BOTH eyes since my last exam. Woo hoo! The doc said I must be eating my wheaties. I told her it was probably the oatmeal and Type A food, because I don't eat wheaties.

Handsome has the most awesome vision insurance in the universe. My eye exam, frames, lenses, bells & whistles etc. only cost me $28! What a deal! New glasses should come in by next week. I have to go back for the contacts because she didn't have any of my favorite brand in stock.

Sunday I worked out with the Jillian Michaels Ultimatum game on the Wii. She totally kicks my butt. I like it. Then I took my mom to see the midget in the Colorado Children's Chorale concert. It was beautiful. Those kids are so talented, singing, some dancing, hand movements, all from memory. I am totally impressed.

Handsome and I grilled burgers (beef for him, salmon for me) and played Scrabble after dinner. We have given up TV for Lent and our game playing has vastly improved. I kicked his butt at the word game. He would've gotten me back during our Wii games but he ended up having too many cocktails and his game playing totally suffered. Hee hee.

Worked out at lunch today - 35 minutes on the bike reading a book by my favorite author (Jodi Picoult, how terrific is she?) Scale was at 145.2. Not bad after a weekend.

Tonight? Oh, man, a concert for the ages!




How excited am I?? I can't wait. Two of the most talented guys ever. I can remember listening to my mom's LPs of these guys when I was just a puppy. Together! In one concert! Full update tomorrow. Woo hoo!

Dreaming

I've heard that it's healthy for your body to wake up at the same time every day, weekdays and weekends. I think that is a bunch of crap. I don't think my body was designed to wake up at five a.m. every day. Not that I don't get appropriate sleep during the week, either. I'm a sleep at least seven hours a night kind of girl. I think that is the recommendation, right?

When handsome's alarm goes off at 5:00 on Saturday mornings, I'll wake up, talk to him, wish him lots of love and miss you's and then when he leaves for work, I'll fall back asleep. I think it's my body's way of saying, damn, I'm tired. Some Saturdays I'll wake up around 7:30, sometimes later. This morning it was almost nine. Whenever it is, I feel like that's what my body needed.

Often, it is during those precious few hours of "nap time" that I have vivid dreams. Like this morning...

A series of three separate dreams clouded my subconscious this morning between 5:00 and 9:00 a.m. The setting was Las Vegas, I'm sure of it, although no neon was to be seen.

The first sequence was of me on a roof with a bunch of others. We were taking turns flying a glider off the roof and around the yard and landing back on the roof. I'm not sure if I had taken my turn yet but suddenly, I felt as though I was running out of time. I jumped in the glider and took off. It was delightful, that feeling of weightlessness, of freedom. All was dandy until I realized one thing: I didn't know squat about how to fly a glider.

A moment of panic while I steered and banked left and brought the building's roof into view. I glided right on to that roof and landed the plane without incident. I was exhilarated and more than proud of myself.

Shift into the next sequence, where I was trying to capture a photo of what appeared to be my class reunion's participants. Loads of people, and I was trying to find the best location. I wandered around an enormous hotel until I found a beautiful, empty marble staircase. At my direction, everyone was lining up on the stairs while I was keeping them in the camera's viewfinder. I kept checking the shot while more and more people joined in the photo. Lots of noise and chattering and I was giddy at the thought of capturing all that energy on film.

There were several people who should have been in the picture but were in different areas of the hotel and I was trying to gather all of them before I lost the opportunity to take the shot. I got a few, but before I could snap the picture, a bell sounded, as though classes were changing. I glanced at the clock on the wall which said it was early afternoon, and I couldn't understand what was happening.

All of a sudden people from all over started walking through the hotel, up and down the stairs, infiltrating my group and my photo opportunity. Someone was trying to direct the reunion participants to be still and shift to their right, over by the wall. They were distracted, though, and I knew I wouldn't get the picture. I was crestfallen.

Shift again to a hotel room the likes of which I've never seen. The inhabitants were of the variety that spent weeks there, or maybe the room was theirs if they ever needed a place to stay while in Vegas. Very classy. The man and woman were both in silk smoking jacket/wraps and she was in the bed talking with one of her lady friends.

Handsome was with me in the room, we sat on a chaise lounge while the man sipped his brandy and handled his wooden cane. He was talking to Handsome about a financial problem Cousin W had found himself in. With his cane, he poked a sleeping Doberman who lay snoring under our seat. I hadn't even noticed the dog until the man started talking about how some people hurt the animals of people who owe money. Then he unfastened the end of the cane which held a needle-sharp point and went to poke it at the dog.

I realized that Cousin W had gotten himself indebted to the mafia and wondered what our role in that was. I started thinking about whether and how we would bail him out but hadn't any clue how deep in he was. I thought if it was less than $10K, I could probably get a cash advance on my credit card and pay the mafioso standing before me. As I began to think in that both irrational but logical way, I woke up.

Exercise journal

Tried another Muscle Works class today. The "real" teacher was back, she had a sub last week when I went.

Actually, I enjoyed the sub's class a little more.

One hour of butt kicking.

Scale said 144.6

Woo hoo!

Exercise journal

30 minutes on the elliptical today. Scale said 145.2

Progress!

Be My Valentine

There are varying opinions as to the origin of Valentine's Day. Some experts state that it originated from St. Valentine, a Roman who was martyred for refusing to give up Christianity. He died on February 14, 269 A.D., the same day that had been devoted to love lotteries. Legend also says that St. Valentine left a farewell note for the jailer's daughter, who had become his friend, and signed it "From Your Valentine". Other aspects of the story say that Saint Valentine served as a priest at the temple during the reign of Emperor Claudius. Claudius then had Valentine jailed for defying him. In 496 A.D. Pope Gelasius set aside February 14 to honour St. Valentine.

Gradually, February 14 became the date for exchanging love messages and St. Valentine became the patron saint of lovers. The date was marked by sending poems and simple gifts such as flowers. There was often a social gathering or a ball.

In the United States, Miss Esther Howland is given credit for sending the first valentine cards. Commercial valentines were introduced in the 1800's and now the date is very commercialized. The town of Loveland, Colorado, does a large post office business around February 14. The spirit of good continues as valentines are sent out with sentimental verses and children exchange valentine cards at school.

What did we do for the day of Love?

Oh yeah, Monster Jam Baby.



What a riot. We got the suite at the Pepsi Center and had an absolute blast. I'll take my Valentine's loud and rowdy any day!

Ow

Muscles hurt.

Hurt when I laugh.

Hurt when I sit.

Hurt when I stand up.

Evidence of a GREAT class!

Exercise update

Took a class the gym offers called Muscle Works. Whew, my muscles got worked!

We used a big bar barbell with 7.5 pound weights on each end. I was anxious. But I made it through the whole class (lots of squats, push ups, planks, side planks, etc.) without dying or hyperventilating or anything!

Scale read 146.

REALLY?

WTF?

Exercise update

Did 30 minutes on the elliptical.

Still at 145.8 according to gym scale.

Zero pounds.

Really??

Who dat?

Man, how exciting for the Saints to win that game! I really thought they were going to win the whole time, but it was nail-biting there for a while!

I embellished Paul's CU jersey with a "Who Dat?" plaque on the back. It was very cool.

We went to watch the game with some friends and I made a super easy appetizer.

Buffalo Chicken Bites

1 can of refrigerated crescent rolls
2 cans of chopped chicken (or about 1.5-2 cups cooked chopped chicken)
A couple tablespoons of buffalo wing sauce

In a bowl, I combined the chicken and the buffalo wing sauce until well mixed. I put one triangle of crescent rolls in each muffin pan hole. I scooped up the chicken mix and put a dollop on each crescent roll. Then I folded the triangles over each other and baked as the crescent rolls directed.

Served them with a side of ranch dressing for dipping (because I don't like blue cheese, but to each their own). Those babies were gone before halftime! YUM!

New song

[In the style of Zac Brown Band's Toes]

I got my ass in the hot tub
My toes in the snow
Ain't worried 'bout nothing
Up here in Steamboat
Life is good today
Yeah, life is good today!

Snowshoeing

Wow, I am so freaking proud of us! We snowshoed on a trail on the west side of Rabbit Ears pass. It was a 4 mile loop and took us 2.5 hours. It was so unbelievably beautiful and peaceful. We only saw maybe a dozen people during that time, and most of them were just starting out as we were finishing up.

Now, we're going to look for snowshoes of our own. I had a great time!

Then we went out for BBQ at the Double Z. Oh my, YUM. First we had the spicy hot link appetizer (totally spicy and really delicious), then I had the pork rib basket (which was just perfect and juicy) and Paul had the Hot Beef sandwich (which had sliced beef AND a couple spicy hot links as well as a layer of cheese). It was the perfect protein punch after our snowshoe adventure!

We walked around by the Yampa river afterward, to let the "air" out. Saw a guy fly fishing and he caught a brown brook trout. It was neat, the river was partly frozen, with giant iced sections. The town is so serene, welcoming. I felt good there!

Steamboat

Going to Steamboat Springs for Paul's friend Tim's 40th birthday party. Have only been to Steamboat once and it was 10 years ago. Went in the summertime, it was beautiful.

We both borrowed snowshoes from friends and will bust out our skillz on Saturday. Wheeee!

I'm just excited to get away for the weekend. Hopefully we don't freeze our tookus' off!

Exercise journaling

Did 30 minutes on the stationary bike today at the gym. Love this gym membership! LOVE working out during lunch. Have so much more energy when the sun shines. Rode 6.6 miles. Whew!

Short Fairy Tale

Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl, "Will you marry me?"

The girl said "No" and she lived happily ever after and went shopping, drank martinis with friends, always had a clean house, never had to cook, had a closet full of shoes and handbags, stayed skinny, and was never farted on.

The End

Catching Up

Like writing in a journal, it's hard to pick up where you left off. So much has happened over the last few months.

In August, I divorced my father. I turned it ALL over to God, because I was done. This email I received was the last communication before I decided I didn't need those brick marks on my forehead from running into the same wall over and over and over again:

I can’t believe I’ve let this go this far. Just when I think there’s some hope for us you show me that the road is much longer than I could imagine.

This year has been horrifying. I’ve never been more at war spiritually than in these last eight months. Your stepmom has been fighting for her life and I’ve been fighting for my sanity. I’m proof that God never gives us more than we can handle, but believe me He better have His hand on you while you’re going through it. But this letter isn’t about me. It’s about you.

I have never really looked at your selfishness in quite this bright of a light before. I’ve prayed to God plenty about you and He’s told me what I know, and that’s that I love you with all my heart. No matter how you act. But I don’t have to like how you act. And over these last months I’ve really gotten to dislike how you act very much. I can’t believe you’ve sunken to the depths of self centeredness as far as you’ve gone. I can take a lot of what you dish out in my direction, maybe because I’m your father, but this time you really screwed up. My wife was laying there in the hospital struggling to live and not one card, not one call, no flowers, no concern. And I know where you’re going with this right now that I should have called you and kept you informed. I don’t have to call. You do.

This world does not revolve around you as you think it does. You have this self centered sense of entitlement about you that really fowls the air. Today it is really showing up strong. I’m emailing this to your office because I don’t think you’ll read it if I send it to your home email. I don’t want you to get fired for using company email for personal use, and you will be fired because even that boss you have won’t tolerate an employee that has a sense of entitlement like you have for long. And they will probably use your personal usage of company email as the excuse without having to confront you with the truth as I am now.

So go ahead and bond with your support group and cry about this letter to them. They’ll all feel sorry for how your father has hurt you again, and sit around and agree how bad he is, again. And nod in subtle agreement.

I pray that you discover the truth abut yourself, and soon. I pray God will show you that you can be loved without being liked. That love isn’t a ticket to act any way you see fit.

Yours in Christ,
Dad

As vitriolic as this email was, it was also freeing. It let me know that I could go on with my life, be free of the guilt that my relationship with my father was a failure.

But really? How does somebody rip someone a new a$$hole and then sign the letter "Yours in Christ"? I don't get it.

So, of course, when we found out she was sick, we sent a card to the hospital and again when she got transferred out of the hospital. My dad and I didn't talk again for another couple of months.

My stepmom passed away Nov. 16. My dad left me a voicemail. Obviously sad, but not tragic. Handsome and I made plans to go to Montana for the memorial service. I was a bundle of nerves but very glad I went. Since then, I feel more free and expressive with my dad and our relationship. I loved my stepmom, but she was always intimidating somehow. I feel like I'm on level ground with my dad now. I text him on his phone (he hasn't learned to text back). He's grieving, and that lets me see his human side. I am a lot like him, I've learned. We both make assumptions that usually end up completely untrue. Shame.

I've grown a lot in the last couple months. I was struck down, afraid, sad, liberated and now, just trying to figure out this new relationship. I feel confident again. Whatever happens, I'm glad things have changed. Life is short, we must make amends while there are still people to whom the amends should be made.