Tuesday, April 19, 2011


I named him Dominic James at birth. He got his little footprints printed and a birth certificate with that name (and my last name) on it. Sally and Dan renamed him Caden James. They also got his footprints and birth certificate with that name (and their last name) on it. He was a hefty little guy, probably because he ate too much turkey!

Caden and I spent two days together at the hospital. We were both fine, and the nurses were so supportive of me and the decision I was making for that little boy. That was so important to me, being treated with respect. You hear horror stories of nurses who berate and belittle birthmoms because they're placing their children for adoption. I will be forever grateful to the nurses at the hospital where Caden was born!

Adoption is a decision I do not regret. I am so blessed by being an active person in Caden's life. I'm not saying that there weren't bad days. Of course there were. Leaving the hospital empty-handed was absolutely the hardest step I've ever had to take. Some days I would get so angry that they were getting to raise my boy and I was not. But every day things got a little bit better.

I think the sleep that I was able to get immediately post-hospital was a huge life saver!  I spent about 4 days recovering from the whole birth experience before I couldn't stand not seeing that baby any longer.  I had been a weepy pained emotional wreck for that first week but I needed to see him and hold him and love on him.

I called Sally and asked if I could come visit.  She agreed and I drove to their house and spent, oh, the next seven hours just hanging out with all of them.  I fed Caden, changed his diaper, hung out in the nursery, read him stories, and he just ate, slept, and pooped like a champ!

As I was driving home that night, my eyes were dry.  My heart was full.  I knew, without a doubt, I made the correct decision.  Also, I got to look forward to the next time I could see them!

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