Tuesday, May 17, 2011

In Memory of...

The world lost an amazing person today.  Kris had worked at the adoption agency I used for 19 years before passing away suddenly from a stroke.  She was 40 years old.

When I called the agency in 1998, it was Kris I spoke with.  She made an appointment to come see me and talk through all my questions about open adoption, including that which I didn't know I didn't know!  She was always smiling and laughing, and she had a touch of cynicism and sarcasm so I knew I could always be myself around her.

She was a birthmom too, her son was 7, I think, when my son was born.  Kris had since married Brett, a police officer, and became pregnant about 3 months after I did.

We spent time together during birthparent group, which was our quasi-therapy sessions to which all birthparents were invited.  We also talked a lot during the preparations for our annual adoption picnics.

We lost touch for a bit until we ran into each other at the liquor store one day.  I noticed that the man in front of us had an enormous bottle of Jack Daniels, and I looked at the man himself and realized I KNEW HIM!  And of course, it was Brett, and Kris was with him.  The four of us stood there and talked a bit, realizing that we lived just down the road from each other's house.  We made plans to get together for dinner.

We spent a bit of time together, never realizing the camping trips that we spoke about, unfortunately.  The pain of losing Kris is tremendous to me, but that's nothing compared to the void left in the lives of her husband and two children (ages 12 and 3). 

Sometimes you really have to question why God makes these types of decisions.  I can't possibly understand how the world is better off without Kris, or why these kids needed to grow up without the love of their mom.  We will miss her laugh, her smile and her warmth every day.

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